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September 27, 2005:
Hi again - it's been a little while, I'm sorry, but I have had a lot of physical pain, and we have also had A LOT of kitten litters here, which have drained me of most of my energy, I must admit.

We have talked a while about "organizing our cattery" as to our goals, as well as number of cats living with us. Since we are a closed cattery, we have to have several females, but we have wanted to try having 5-6 girls - preferrably 5.
BUT, we haven't really been able to "organize" anything here until lately, when most of the kittens are sold, and we have sterilised and rehomed Gimmi, will rehome Beauty, and have found a wonderful family for our neuter, Hero. It just has been TOO MUCH, especially with the fact that there have been almost non-stop kittens here since May 2004(!!). So we plan on having some months with no kittens, though we are keeping Beauty's daughter, Sunshine, so we have her lines in tact. So, we will still have a kitten here anyway.

Even though Hally will stay as a breeder - shes' a GREAT mom, we have decided also that Torties, Tortie Tabbys (Torbies) & Reds are not the color variations we want to concentrate on. It's nice to have "been there, done that", but apart from what we get of these types of variations from Hally, our focus is definately on Chocolate & Lilac variations (including Tabby). It's where our hearts lay, and it's our goal to better the mask standard, as well as having brought in new blood with two Birmans from Australia.

Because of the fact that I live with A LOT of physical pain, and no treatment here can help me, I need to travel to warmer places, which also means that we need to organize and plan our cattery as far as when we can have kittens - if nature will be kind to us and play along!! Our new boy isn't interested in girls yet, which is a nice breather, but I don't think many months will go by before he does - he's almost 8 months now. Our girls are on the pill, but I will take 1-2 off in a couple of months. We have to make it so that Bjornar can manage with the cats if I'm gone for 1-2 months at a time for a health trip, which has been difficult.

It's felt for a while now that things have just been "growing over our heads" as far as our cattery, cats & kittens go. I LOVE having kittens, but with the amount of litters we have had over a period of almost 1 1/2 years, it has taken some of the special fun a breeder has with them. Even though we feel right now that we don't want to have kittens for a while, I'm sure that not many months will go by before we look forward to new ones. It's funny that way, and most breeders say the same.
Now we are starting to feel that we have a certain amount of control and plans as far as the cattery goes. Our cats are more happy also, as there were problems between some of them (the reason for at least one of the rehomings), but now they can be with us in the evening - and they LOVE IT!! It's wonderful to see them blossom again, and I don't want it to change back to what we had before.

Breeding, as well as living with one's cats - family members (!!!) has to feel good, and I'm so thankful that we are finally starting to feel that again after many months of feeling like it has all been too much for us to handle!

People & breeders who think rehoming is "use and throw away" should SEE how much love the rehomed cats get, and how much they appreciate being the center of attention!! It's not that we don't love them better, but we can't just "collect" cats, and we are also of the oppinion that if we think WE are the only ones who can give one or more cats the love they need, we are being selfish and thinking of ourselves instead of first thinking of THEIR best for the future. So we don't care what others think. The feedback we get back from the families that have neuters we have rehomed, warms our hearts, and makes us positive that we've done the right thing!!

Anyways, just wanted to share my thoughts as to what is going on here with you all!!

April 17, 2005:

Dear diary...I read this in a post to a cat mailing list, and I think there are some VERY serious and worthy thoughts here that I want to share with you who read this...

I am a CAT breeder

I breed CATS

Not dogs

Not Mice

Not Rabbits

CATS

I am a CAT breeder

I am not a pet store

I can not guarantee having a kitten of a specific color or sex available on demand.

Those kittens listed on my website or that I tell you I have available are what I have.

Just because you decided today that you want a kitten does not mean I have one available for you to take home today.

I am a CAT breeder

I am not a travelling sales man I will not bring a selection of kittens to your home for you to look over; if I have kittens available then you may make an appointment to come and view them. All kittens marked as reserved on my site or I say are not available are not available. The age and availability dates that I list on my site are NON negotiable; I will not sell a kitten before I feel that it is ready to go to it's new home.

I am a CAT breeder

I am not a bargain basement clearance store if you are looking for a kitten at a bargain rate; keep looking you will not find it here. Every kitten that I have is raised with all the loving attention that I can give it, I have spent many many hours cleaning litter boxes, feeding, watering and worrying over each and everyone.

I am a CAT breeder

I spend hours on the phone, the internet and in person answering the questions of each perspective buyer. I answer the same questions time after time, even though that information is clearly listed on my website. I answer the questions and put up with the rude behavior of buyers who are upset that they can't get what they want when they want it.

I am a CAT breeder

I spend countless hours learning more about how to raise kittens better and more about my specific breed. I spend enormous amounts of money at the vets and buying cat related supplies such as litter and food. IF you broke down what I bring in on each kitten as "profit" I would be making pennies per hour.

I am a CAT breeder

I spend much money, many hours preparing for, travelling to and attending cat shows. And am thrilled to bring home a two dollar rosette. I enjoy the camaraderie of other breeders and admire their cats even when their cat beats mine.

I am a CAT breeder and I LOVE MY CATS!

March 22, 2005:

Dear diary....it's been WAY TOO LONG since I wrote anything....a sign of lack of time, illness, and quite a few little Birman paws running around!

I want to raise a topic that I've been thinking of for a while, and hope that it comes across in the proper way, as intended.....
One CAN and is ALLOWED to get tired of being a breeder at times - without being made to feel guilty or "disloyal" for it. Sometimes this "feeling" lasts for a shorter while, but sometimes it can result in "laying low", or even someone stopping breeding. From what I've gathered, this is frowned on as being that a breeder isn't serious, "and should never have been a breeder in the first place", but my TOTALLY honest oppinion is that it is the EXACT OPPOSITE! To "stop and smell the roses", and take a look at life and what you want out of it is a person's right, and if we as breeders aren't feeling our best, or aren't up to keeping the level of breeding that we ideally want, than it would many times be better for the cats if people were more honest with themselves, and let others "live on the passion".

There can be many reasons for taking a "time out" - maybe even not coming back to breeding. It can be sickness, too much stress otherwise, or many other things that effect life. It can also be a total change of life stye or location of living, which is certainly up to each an everyone as a personal matter. The fact that a person even takes the time to THINK about what is best in the future for their beloved cats is, to me, a sign of serious hard thinking, and certainly not taking things lightly!

I personally live with a lot of physical pain, as I'm a chronic pain patient. And sometimes it's not exactly fun to have all the responsibilities that being a breeders brings with it (if you're going to do it right). I have contimplated taking a break, and I don't feel guilty or unethical for having those thoughts. I'm still not sure what will happen in the future, but I think it is a good thing to just sit down, close your eyes, and breathe, letting your thoughts rest - or formalize. Many good decisions or ideas have come from this kind of action, and I think it is healthy to do it when contemplating breeding and the future in general.

Anyways, just a few thoughts from me - sorry it's been a while since I touched base here. It's just not always easy to find the time to formalize thoughts or feelings.

I promise it won't take too long until next time...hopefully....!!!I